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02 August 2012 @ 05:33 pm
Feeling Incomplete  
So I thought I knew all my crutches--self-pity, Diet Dr. Pepper, and God, generally in that order--but recently Dragoon reinstalled Firefox on my computer and I found out that all this time my life depended on AutoComplete and I didn't know it.

Oh, AutoComplete, how well ye knew me; like a long-time lover, you knew everything about me, finishing my sentences. We had a bond.

But NOW that lover has amnesia or something and AutoWhaa? isn't working. I haven't seen my bank account info in two weeks because I've only just now realized, after hundreds of times seeing AutoComplete auto-complete my sign-in name....I never actually READ THE NAME. My own name. The one that I presumably came up with and typed in at some point.

"I know my PIN!" I pled fruitlessly. "My Social Security number! Where all my best chocolate is stashed! Please, just let me see how broke I am!"

But, alas. To no avail.

It's such a cruel joke because I already wasn't a finisher, so this is kind of a cruel computer joke, that now I can't even finish my own name, for pity's sake.

I was helping Dragoon cut his hair today (no, really, this has something to do with the original point, I just didn't finish thinking out a good segue)

and he's got these corners on his otherwise very shapely head. He swears they're from his mom dropping him on his head multiple times. If you know my MIL, you know this is not just a possibility, but a probability.

But I was washing 5yo DS Moose's hair the other night after we got home from the pool and he's got the same corners Dragoon does. So, naturally, I start thinking phrenologically, as I am often wont to do, and I'm wondering what the corners mean.

They're fairly noticeable if you're running your hands over their heads, so does that mean they correlate with these guys' most salient personality characteristics? If so, then I name the left bump Extreme Dilbertitude, because Dragoon and Moose are both born engineers, and name the right bump Persistent Bloody-Mindedness.

Because Dragoon is a Finisher. I mean, even way long past when you should let something go. If he dropped his car keys in hot lava, he'd yell for me to get a heat suit for him and start poking sticks in there. He once walked into a pond full of fishhooks to retrieve an old hat our son had tossed in there in a fit of temporary insanity. His car is a 91 Toyota Corolla. He is all about the Not Quitting.

Whereas me, I'm more like....eh, this house is pretty dirty...let's just burn it down, collect the insurance money and start over. Race you to IKEA!

Yeah, that's me.

So I was feeling around my head and wondering, what does Lack of Finishing present as, phrenologically? I'm thinking an open fontanel.

See? Get it? Because it failed to close in infancy...?

no, you're right, not funny.

Well, I could work a little longer on making that joke work, maybe even work on it till it DOES work, but...well....you know me....
happyorganisthappyorganist on August 4th, 2012 04:58 am (UTC)
Cody now thinks you're funny too =DD

I have autocomplete turned off on my computer - partly 'cause I think it makes things safer (even though those same items are filled automatically on our other like 5 machines) and partly so I can type them in myself (and remember them). It's mostly the former, but the latter is what has really happened.
I also do that with phone numbers. I don't know how to use my cell phone - so I'm always dialing numbers the 'old fashioned' way, and accordingly remembering a lot more numbers than most people.
I'm not bragging.. no wait - I am totally..

luddite =)
firstpearlfirstpearl on August 14th, 2012 01:37 pm (UTC)
thanks for writing..always makes my day...please invent more hours in the day so you can write more often! memory, huh? What's that again? I think I used to have one but now I forget when.